How to lovingly meet the pain of regret.

Why did I not make more time for those friendships? Why did I let them go? I thought to myself. Tears of sadness stung my eyes as the pain of regret rippled through my body. I began to rub my arm and hug myself. Stepping into “Mother”, I began to soothe myself, gently whispering “Even though I have made a lot of mistakes… I choose to love myself anyway”  Read on…

by | Jan 1, 2024 | Feminine Embodiment

The transition into midlife is possibly the hardest of all for women to go through. Internally our bodies are changing, our hormones are rearranging and our inner chemistry is telling us our creative, fertile years are coming to an end.

As humans we are “meaning-making machines” and in an effort to understand the changes happening on our inner landscape, our mind can throw up all sorts of feelings of regret and sadness about unfulfilled potential, lost relationship, unmet dreams and so on. 

There is nothing harder on your nervous system than a walk down the memory lane of regret. Perceived mistakes can trigger intense wounded “Maiden” emotions…. Self criticism, self loathing, self flagellation, self destructive patterns and endless “why’s….?” Leaving us overwhelmed and drowning in a sea of sadness.

Learning to soothe ourselves through the inevitable sadness and grief that comes with regrets over mistakes made, relationships lost, unfulfilled dreams and potentials is a huge part of the “Maiden to Mother” and feminine embodiment work I love to support women with. It is also an incredibly valuable tool as you move through transitions like “midlife” or perimenopause. 

A favourite tool of mine to reach for when I feel the sudden rise of sadness due to midlife regret is one I simply call “Mother”.

In “Mother”, we soothe the nervous system through touch and words of comfort which are two very simple yet very powerful ways to regulate an activated nervous system. And by soothing the nervous system in this way, we can separate ourselves from our activated “Inner Maiden” and access the support and wisdom of being in archetypal “Mother”. Mothering ourselves through our pain and into the deeper wisdom that lies beyond this attack of midlife regret or any other regrets for that matter.

Today, I felt a huge attack of midlife regret. It’s New Years Days, the first day of January, the first day of the new year. And this morning, I felt deep sadness and loneliness rise. It sounds childish when I write this now but I had received very few messages from friends wishing me a “Happy New Year”. I could feel the sting of regret for not having nurtured my friendships better over the years. For getting so “busy” with work and life that I didn’t have time to dedicate to my friendships which I sadly let fizzle out. 

I could feel my wounded “Maiden” triggered and I knew this sadness would spiral if I let it. I began to rub my arm and I hugged myself and dropping into “Mother” I gently and lovingly whispered to myself “even though I have made a lot of mistakes, I choose to love myself anyway”. 

The truth is though so often it is often our changing hormones (which we cannot control) that cause so many of these feelings of regret both at midlife and during our menstrual cycle. But they don’t have to consume us.

When in wounded “Maiden” our thinking and focus becomes narrowed and we can get lost in the sea of emotion. But in “Mother”, we soothe ourselves enough to bring our deeper wisdom back online, step back into our truth and our power. 

If you would love to learn more about how to hold yourself through these attacks of regret then be sure to access “Mother” my favourite simple support tool.

If you would like to be held in a deeper container of support as you navigate this or any life transitions then please reach out to me at support@niamhasple.com and we can chat through which of my support containers is the right one for you.

Remember you don’t have to go through these challenges alone. Reach out if you need help.

It’s my greatest honour to support you.

Love,

Niamh x

In my somatic, trauma-informed coaching sessions, we don’t work with the mind to unravel and answer the questions on your heart, the questions that keep you going round in circles caught in ground hog day and unable to move forward. We instead drop into the body and move from there.

The body is wise. It is intelligent and it holds all the answers you need when you take the time to drop in and ask. This can feel easier when someone holds the space for you to dive in. This is my role. To hold space for you to drop into the wisdom of your body and ask the powerful questions that will lead you to your own answers. 

Feeling stuck and wanting clarity and direction?

To book a session, see the button below.

Niamh is a Feminine Embodiment Coach, Sacred Seasonality Teacher & Business Doula. Through somatic, trauma informed coaching and embodiment practices she supports women on the precipice of change to move from confusion and procrastination to clarity and clear direction.

Niamh is an incredible coach!

Niamh is an incredible coach. She is dynamic, sensitive and powerful. Her efficiency and caring nature make you feel supported from the beginning. I love how easy it is to talk with her and how assertive and direct this style of coaching is.

Natalie Farrell 

Niamh has such a loving presence.

Niamh has such a loving presence which makes it so easy to feel safe and open up about anything that comes up in a session. I could also feel her excitement for me and my journey which inspired me to connect more deeply with my own excitement.

Lizzy Guhl

Niamh helped me gain profound clarity!

I had such a deeply transformative coaching session with Niamh as she holds such a healing and unconditionally loving space. It felt like alchemy on a deep cellular level, shifting emotional blockages into profound expansion and clarity.

 

Elsa Kvarnbach

Niamh truly is a conscious business midwife!

Niamh’s calming, warm, and compassionate way allowed me to safely dive deep to release blocks and worn out patterns of doing and being. She truly is a conscious business midwife!

Amy Frankel

How to lovingly meet the pain of regret.

Why did I not make more time for those friendships? Why did I let them go? I thought to myself. Tears of sadness stung my eyes as the pain of regret rippled through my body. I began to rub my arm and hug myself. Stepping into “Mother”, I began to soothe myself, gently whispering “Even though I have made a lot of mistakes… I choose to love myself anyway”  Read on…

by | Jan 1, 2024 | Feminine Embodiment

Woman feeling regret

The transition into midlife is possibly the hardest of all for women to go through. Internally our bodies are changing, our hormones are rearranging and our inner chemistry is telling us our creative, fertile years are coming to an end.

As humans we are “meaning-making machines” and in an effort to understand the changes happening on our inner landscape, our mind can throw up all sorts of feelings of regret and sadness about unfulfilled potential, lost relationship, unmet dreams and so on. 

There is nothing harder on your nervous system than a walk down the memory lane of regret. Perceived mistakes can trigger intense wounded “Maiden” emotions…. Self criticism, self loathing, self flagellation, self destructive patterns and endless “why’s….?” Leaving us overwhelmed and drowning in a sea of sadness.

Learning to soothe ourselves through the inevitable sadness and grief that comes with regrets over mistakes made, relationships lost, unfulfilled dreams and potentials is a huge part of the “Maiden to Mother” and feminine embodiment work I love to support women with. It is also an incredibly valuable tool as you move through transitions like “midlife” or perimenopause. 

A favourite tool of mine to reach for when I feel the sudden rise of sadness due to midlife regret is one I simply call “Mother”.

In “Mother”, we soothe the nervous system through touch and words of comfort which are two very simple yet very powerful ways to regulate an activated nervous system. And by soothing the nervous system in this way, we can separate ourselves from our activated “Inner Maiden” and access the support and wisdom of being in archetypal “Mother”. Mothering ourselves through our pain and into the deeper wisdom that lies beyond this attack of midlife regret or any other regrets for that matter.

Today, I felt a huge attack of midlife regret. It’s New Years Days, the first day of January, the first day of the new year. And this morning, I felt deep sadness and loneliness rise. It sounds childish when I write this now but I had received very few messages from friends wishing me a “Happy New Year”. I could feel the sting of regret for not having nurtured my friendships better over the years. For getting so “busy” with work and life that I didn’t have time to dedicate to my friendships which I sadly let fizzle out. 

I could feel my wounded “Maiden” triggered and I knew this sadness would spiral if I let it. I began to rub my arm and I hugged myself and dropping into “Mother” I gently and lovingly whispered to myself “even though I have made a lot of mistakes, I choose to love myself anyway”. 

The truth is though so often it is often our changing hormones (which we cannot control) that cause so many of these feelings of regret both at midlife and during our menstrual cycle. But they don’t have to consume us.

When in wounded “Maiden” our thinking and focus becomes narrowed and we can get lost in the sea of emotion. But in “Mother”, we soothe ourselves enough to bring our deeper wisdom back online, step back into our truth and our power. 

If you would love to learn more about how to hold yourself through these attacks of regret then be sure to access “Mother” my favourite simple support tool.

If you would like to be held in a deeper container of support as you navigate this or any life transitions then please reach out to me at support@niamhasple.com and we can chat through which of my support containers is the right one for you.

Remember you don’t have to go through these challenges alone. Reach out if you need help.

It’s my greatest honour to support you.

Love,

Niamh x

In my somatic, trauma-informed coaching sessions, we don’t work with the mind to unravel and answer the questions on your heart, the questions that keep you going round in circles caught in ground hog day and unable to move forward. We instead drop into the body and move from there.

The body is wise. It is intelligent and it holds all the answers you need when you take the time to drop in and ask. This can feel easier when someone holds the space for you to dive in. This is my role. To hold space for you to drop into the wisdom of your body and ask the powerful questions that will lead you to your own answers. 

Feeling stuck and wanting clarity and direction?

To book a session, see the button below.

Niamh is an incredible coach!

Niamh is an incredible coach. She is dynamic, sensitive and powerful. Her efficiency and caring nature make you feel supported from the beginning. I love how easy it is to talk with her and how assertive and direct this style of coaching is.

Natalie Farrell 

Niamh has such a loving presence.

Niamh has such a loving presence which makes it so easy to feel safe and open up about anything that comes up in a session. I could also feel her excitement for me and my journey which inspired me to connect more deeply with my own excitement.

Lizzy Guhl

Niamh helped me gain profound clarity!

I had such a deeply transformative coaching session with Niamh as she holds such a healing and unconditionally loving space. It felt like alchemy on a deep cellular level, shifting emotional blockages into profound expansion and clarity.

 

Elsa Kvarnbach

Niamh truly is a conscious business midwife!

Niamh’s calming, warm, and compassionate way allowed me to safely dive deep to release blocks and worn out patterns of doing and being. She truly is a conscious business midwife!

Amy Frankel

Niamh is a Feminine Embodiment Coach & Business Doula. Through somatic, trauma informed coaching and embodiment practices she supports women on the precipice of change and life transition to move from confusion and procrastination to clarity and clear direction.